I have a question/theory

lovelyladybones presents an interesting point in her reply. And I don't disagree with the 'Alpha mate' theory that she's suggested, as I have read about it myself and find that it makes much sense.

What comes to mind for me in response to this question however is more focused on neurological workings of the brain. It makes me reflect on some things I've learned through taking various classes as well as independent reading, of how we all tend to think as our brains have been programmed to over time (as we are able to be 'wired' a certain way and 'programmed' much like a computer), so that these things that might disturb us can also come to be a source of arousal, whether that arousal presents as sexual, emotional, intellectual, or all-fore-mentioned in nature.

I read some things that were disturbing and shocking to me when I was younger. I think there is something about the 'need to watch the train-wreck', that kind of flock around the catastrophe mentality that humans have that keeps on drawing us back if we see something 'forbidden' or 'naughty'. I kept on coming back to new disturbing things although I was disturbed. I think certain things have become an addiction of sorts, but for me it's not all some sexual thing (in fact that is probably the smallest part of it for me when it does ever 'come up'), it sort of spills over into just about every area of my thinking and my perception of the world, but that's not all bad or just twisted and warped either. When I think on and write/read these things, I am exploring the human psyche, trying to understand and make peace with my world (and that includes those who would pose some threat--like Ramsayyyy! LOL).

It actually makes perfect logical sense, it is just that we can either choose to simplify it in familiar concepts such as have been named above, or we can complicate it (explore the complexity of it?) and have lengthy discussions on the matter, which is also fun.

Ultimately this is a multifaceted thing and I think we come to understand these things about ourselves and each other over time as we continue to write, to read, and to discuss. And there is always plenty of mystery left over.

It is indeed intensely psychological, and I believe spiritual elements factor in as well. While we all might have some aspect of this tendency to be drawn toward 'dark, kinky, frightening', it is a bit different for all of us who feel that attraction. Some might have some genetic predisposition, as well as other suggestions that have been put forth. We are unique and special though, despite how some would choose a more distasteful label to assign to us. Why fear such things though (not suggesting anyone here does, but I am feeling pensive about the matter of perception outside of this fandom/pairing now)? Some people choose their flight response. For whatever reason, we all seem to have an interesting take on the 'fight' response. Perhaps it is the approach of "Know thy enemy to better conquer him." Something like that.

We don't shy away from the things that could hurt us just to think about. Because thoughts on their own are quite powerful, right?

And to quote your specific line of "Getting off on pain and humiliation makes no sense", I am pleased to inform you of something interesting: I once did a school project on medieval torture, when I was in high school... Sophomore year, I think. And by reading many accounts of the reactions of the public when punishment of the accused included torture in front of the masses, it was reported to be very common in that time that most who watched these things happening to others were aroused by it, although that was certainly not the case if they ever fell prey to torture themselves!

An interesting piece of history to mull over. I think I would like to research it all again sometime, and I will--although I don't have myself on a deadline. ha ha XD

I have so much more I could say about this in time, probably--I haven't been the healthiest in my mind lately so what I am putting forth now feels rather diluted (how ironic that Thramsay triggered me to an unhealthy state of mind, right? ) compared to some theories and info I would normally share that I simply don't feel that I have access to in the recesses of my brain for now, but will be likely to soon enough.

But anyway, this is such a great topic and I thank you for starting it! It will be fun to think on this some more and return here again. I think it may turn into one of our lengthiest threads.

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(IMPORTANT: If the topic is brought up because it is a source of distress--and I would say the following as well to anyone reading who can identify with being in distress over it, then I would just say think on the things that are said in reply and understand that it doesn't mean you're bad or 'damaged goods' somehow. Every person has a weakness for or attraction to something they will say that they shouldn't--it just might not be torture, BDSM, Thramsay, whatever you, the reader, happen to be thinking of. Everyone has something, even those would proclaim themselves clean and good and 'normal'. Don't feel bad for being yourself, just take care to make sure that you are safe and healthy, and keep in mind that some things that are disturbing to us are indeed triggering a disturbance that is in place for our own good, to warn us away from danger. We have that wired into us for our protection. I would hope very much that everyone here reads this and is careful that if this sort of thing goes beyond fictional fascination/enjoyment for them, that they would make wise and compassionate choices, for themselves as well as others. Thank you.) *