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Post by malreve on Aug 6, 2014 2:44:48 GMT -5
My first Thramsay fic can be found here: Pay Me NowIt's been dedicated (called 'gifted' on AO3) to Cheryl (tendervittles), the creator and administrator of these lovely forums. I hope you like it, Cheryl!  I hope the rest of you enjoy as well. I take feedback here as well as on AO3 reviews section, but please review there first... I always love getting those, ha ha. I plan to update with more Thramsay fics there soon. Long live Thramsay!!  |
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Post by ironsalt on Aug 20, 2014 1:32:49 GMT -5
I read this on ao3. Great work. Like the way Reek dare say to Ramsay 'pay me now.' Without a please, a my lord, etc. Reek's being bold, impudent? I like it. Probably because what will follow after that, i.e, lord Ramsay's punishment and discipline, putting Reek in his right place.
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Post by malreve on Aug 20, 2014 6:01:36 GMT -5
I read this on ao3. Great work. Like the way Reek dare say to Ramsay 'pay me now.' Without a please, a my lord, etc. Reek's being bold, impudent? I like it. Probably because what will follow after that, i.e, lord Ramsay's punishment and discipline, putting Reek in his right place. Ha ha! Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed. The second chapter is up now, I don't know if you saw that.  And actually, while he does cringe inwardly to be so bold, that is part of the game. I know I didn't specify that, but how it works is, Reek pretending to be a regular working man is supposed to state directly what he wants for payment as any man worth his salt in Ramsay's eyes would. He's not supposed to be Reek in that moment--he would definitely lose the game in a bad way if he did! And Ramsay knows being required to act in that way that feels unnatural to Reek is actually torture on him... he never lets up in that way.  Am I hearing a request though for Ramsay putting Reek in his place? Always an idea to consider, although I haven't been inspired for work of that particular type yet... It would probably be part of a different story if I wrote that. |
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Post by malreve on Aug 20, 2014 6:48:00 GMT -5
Ah, I should mention too, as I've glanced back over the part where he asks for his payment, that it was always the first 2 choices that he was able to be bold with, but he was so afraid of the third one--whoring--for the longest time, that we are actually seeing what Ramsay considers a huge break-through in Reek's training when his pet is finally able to boldly state what he has always feared.
Much is left open to interpretation, but I think that is the gist of it.
I keep on, like, having fragments of my thoughts (it's not the same as writing a story where I re-read and edit like crazy to make sure I get it just right) that I end up typing out, and then I remember something else I wanted to say later. It's annoying, but... all part of the healing process from the brain surgery, and it's been getting better with time. I'm just grateful that it's good and getting better--compared to the hell that was my epilepsy, I would choose forgetting some thoughts any day. Heh...
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Post by lovelyladybones on Aug 22, 2014 18:43:23 GMT -5
I love love love this! I hate to bug you but updates would be awesome!
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Post by Sarah on Aug 24, 2014 4:57:10 GMT -5
Yes, update please! I've been checking every hour, not even lying!  |
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Post by malreve on Aug 25, 2014 8:50:22 GMT -5
I love love love this! I hate to bug you but updates would be awesome! (I apologize for not having seen this sooner. ^^; ) Ah, thank you. I mean, the 'demand' for it is such a compliment. Don't worry, the school issue will be resolved very soon now. (that is what has prevented me from working on the update--but not for much longer now ) I yearn to update. I will. Thank you for this; it has been great encouragement. ^_^ |
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Post by malreve on Aug 25, 2014 8:58:36 GMT -5
Ah, lovely guest Sarah, how nice of you to visit us. It is a true joy to my heart. You are so kind to think so highly of my work. I am beyond flattered that you check every hour. That is HUGEST compliment ev-errr! LOL (I am obviously in a very good mood right now--much better than I've been in quite a while, actually) As I said to lovelyladybones above, I will be updating soon now that my real life issues concerning school are closer to being balanced out. I hope you check back here too and see this. I can't thank you enough for your support and encouraging words! |
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Post by malreve on Sept 8, 2014 18:38:23 GMT -5
I just posted my full explanation (as close to a detailed one as I'm willing to give) for the delays to my updates on AO3 as a separate 'chapter' in the series "No Pain", which some of you probably recognize by first chapter's title "Pay Me Now". I am nervoussss... Are people going to say forever that I was driven crazy or something? It's not so simple but... omg, I couldn't just leave the story as was, without letting people know when to expect an update. I always HATED abandoned or 'orphaned' stories where the authors never even bothered to mention that they wouldn't be returning, so that sometimes years later I would think of a favorite fic that had been left unfinished, and I'd check back and see there was still no update.  Wow. Just writing some detailed author's notes concerning this was tiresome and a bit troubling. But I know things are getting better and I will write and update again soon enough. I can't wait to be healthy enough again, because truthfully my muses are indeed urging me back in that direction! I'm excited for that day when I can sit down and feel like myself as I write scary (scary/hawt?) Thramsay again. LOL |
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hauntedpoem
New Member
...because I am no man that I am alive; and I am no dog, I am a wolf...
Posts: 22
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Post by hauntedpoem on Sept 16, 2014 8:40:16 GMT -5
malreve, now that I found time to check this forum I'm a bit overwhelmed. Somehow, a part of me wishes to get to know you better (not just because you are a writer but) because I identify quite a lot with some of the stuff you've written (even in your explanation). Then... I want to just delete all my stuff and stop reading fanfiction altogether and stop "wasting my time" because I am an emotional mess afterwards. Writing can become an addiction. Thinking out of weird-intricate plots can become burdening and alienating. I hate the process. I hate the process of writing because I already exhausted myself by spending so much "daydreaming" time on separating plot ideas in my head. Then... in order to write (I hate the physical part of it, the clanking of the keyboard, the pen in my hand, I even hate recording myself) I have to tear metaphorical pieces of myself, I have to re-live those ideas, I get bad feelings, I get too empathetic, I crash. The outcome work is something about 15% decent material of what I've already thought out. I never reach the "perfect" image/plot/story in my mind. I used to write poetry. Then something bad happened to me, then... I couldn't write shit (for real) for almost 5 years. Fanfiction became this strange outlet to pour out my demons. It's an imperfect means, though. It makes me hate myself... I don't know why. Also, I know what you mean by hating "abandoned & forever WIPs". I do too but hey... although delivering our demons to the internet feels liberating for the moment, it might affect us in mysterious ways (LOL). I always pendulate between hating ff and then becoming utterly obsessed with finishing one. It kills me. It messed me up so much that years ago I became a total recluse just to complete some ff. Are you on tumblr these days?
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Post by malreve on Sept 16, 2014 15:57:23 GMT -5
malreve, now that I found time to check this forum I'm a bit overwhelmed. Somehow, a part of me wishes to get to know you better (not just because you are a writer but) because I identify quite a lot with some of the stuff you've written (even in your explanation). Then... I want to just delete all my stuff and stop reading fanfiction altogether and stop "wasting my time" because I am an emotional mess afterwards. Writing can become an addiction. Thinking out of weird-intricate plots can become burdening and alienating. I hate the process. I hate the process of writing because I already exhausted myself by spending so much "daydreaming" time on separating plot ideas in my head. Then... in order to write (I hate the physical part of it, the clanking of the keyboard, the pen in my hand, I even hate recording myself) I have to tear metaphorical pieces of myself, I have to re-live those ideas, I get bad feelings, I get too empathetic, I crash. The outcome work is something about 15% decent material of what I've already thought out. I never reach the "perfect" image/plot/story in my mind. I used to write poetry. Then something bad happened to me, then... I couldn't write shit (for real) for almost 5 years. Fanfiction became this strange outlet to pour out my demons. It's an imperfect means, though. It makes me hate myself... I don't know why. Also, I know what you mean by hating "abandoned & forever WIPs". I do too but hey... although delivering our demons to the internet feels liberating for the moment, it might affect us in mysterious ways (LOL). I always pendulate between hating ff and then becoming utterly obsessed with finishing one. It kills me. It messed me up so much that years ago I became a total recluse just to complete some ff. Are you on tumblr these days? I think I can understand all of these things to quite some extent. (Although) I don't hate writing, but lately certain things when I have tried to 'push through the difficult parts' have led to some extremely adverse effect or another. I too struggle with the perfectionism, the extreme empathy... I personally at times find it difficult to separate myself from the fictional un-reality that I've created or 'played in'. I empathize deeply with the poetry incident. That is all that really needs to be said here about it. And yes, I do wonder sometimes what it is that compels us to post certain things on the internet that sometimes we even admit to feeling upset or troubled over. Perhaps it is some form of demon--I don't care to speculate at present, or perhaps ever. When I was in the process of writing my first original novel I became a recluse for the sake of it, and indeed only ate, slept, etc. as much as I needed to keep me fueled enough for the writing. I'm not on tumblr much but I can be. lol! If there is some request for me to be on there, I can make time for it. If you care to contact me extensively (or casually) in some other way that allows for more words, you can always email me at dreamsofmason@yahoo.com but feel free to let me know about the tumblr thing too. Thank you for this. I believe there is a reason for this post being exactly as it is. Peace to you. I hope all is well with you. |
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Post by ironsalt on Sept 16, 2014 21:52:09 GMT -5
When I saw the new update on ao3, the new chapter, how glad I was - but...  I fully understand that your health and well being come first, the most and top priorities, however, at the same time I can't help but thinking and wishing you would pick up your work again (-and probably not after too long time!) |
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hauntedpoem
New Member
...because I am no man that I am alive; and I am no dog, I am a wolf...
Posts: 22
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Post by hauntedpoem on Sept 17, 2014 15:19:30 GMT -5
malreve, I think that the physical act of writing can be tedious. I could write all day - but then again, if I were to do it as a job, then... I'll feel too pressured and insecure about it. I would like to translate my unfinished novel (it's actually finished!!!) in English and I dunno... post it somewhere, just to get feedback and such. It's interesting... you said you only ate and slept and worked on your novels... how was it to be able (or obliged) to focus only on writing? I remember that I had classes at uni back then when I first started writing it and for me, writing became a form of escapism. thanks for allowing me to contact you. I hope I will not abuse it...  although I think that it tumblr is easier in a way (we can communicate via fanmail). here's my tumblr, just in case. bardot-barbiturate.tumblr.com/ I am following you on tumblr (however, the written content on your page is impossible to read... it must be a technical problem, I suppose) and yes... all is well but I've never learnt to be content. 
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Post by ironsalt on Sept 18, 2014 23:54:04 GMT -5
Writing is fun for me, but I guess it is so, because I only write whenever I feel like to and not so stress myself too much over its final result. Once, a quite long time ago, I put up one of my short stories on the net and somehow got a call from some online publisher that they wanted me to write a story for them, saying they'd pay for it. They said they had stumbled upon my short story and liked it so I was getting a commission from them...and I thought 'ah why not?! This sounds fun - and I get paid for it as well?!'...but then they wanted me to update a chapter weekly and me being not really a punctual person, I did not think I could pull it off - besides they wanted some work set in modern era, although I wanted to write some fantasy stuff. Of course I didn't have a saying in which genre I could choose lol as I was just no one in the writing industry lol So I guess whilst writing itself is fun, but it is so because I do it just for fun... not sure how it'd be had I have to write for living, as a professional hmmmm  Probably not so much fun, not any more lol I guess I enjoy writing, because whilst I do that I come to discover something new within and outside me, about the world, about things around me, it also gives me new perspectives, like when I narrate a story from a mouth of some characters be them borrowed from some others' work (e.g., fanfictions) or my own, I get to see things from a different POV and it's refreshing and enlightening its own unique way. Sort of living vicariously, I guess. I emerge (or borrow a term from ASoIaF, warg) myself in different figures than myself, then my way of thinking, tones, mannerisms change, too, and that itself is a quite fascinating experience to me. And finally I get to share those/mine stories with other people and as something has affected me whilst I was at writing, now the outcome, i.e., the story, may affect those who read it as well...all of them is a very unique and precious process and experience methinks. And in general, our species has this yearning for stories - and ever since we had any tools akin to languages, we always wrote, told and sang some kinds of stories...people like to create stories and listen to and read them as well...and this makes our kind quite extraordinary I think. As much as we live and exist on this earth, in the reality, we enjoy fictions, and sometimes I wonder what that might mean... why do we enjoy fictions so much? Not even just books, but movies as well (of course there are some film and books based on real events, but still the majority of them are our own creation, fictional - and what's their value? There must be a reason why we so much enjoy it) Ah I'm sorry...I'm hijacking this comment section now! But you two brought up the interesting topic of writing and I just happened to ramble on lol |
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Post by malreve on Sept 19, 2014 15:29:20 GMT -5
malreve, I think that the physical act of writing can be tedious. I could write all day - but then again, if I were to do it as a job, then... I'll feel too pressured and insecure about it. I would like to translate my unfinished novel (it's actually finished!!!) in English and I dunno... post it somewhere, just to get feedback and such. It's interesting... you said you only ate and slept and worked on your novels... how was it to be able (or obliged) to focus only on writing? I remember that I had classes at uni back then when I first started writing it and for me, writing became a form of escapism. thanks for allowing me to contact you. I hope I will not abuse it... although I think that it tumblr is easier in a way (we can communicate via fanmail). here's my tumblr, just in case. bardot-barbiturate.tumblr.com/ I am following you on tumblr (however, the written content on your page is impossible to read... it must be a technical problem, I suppose) and yes... all is well but I've never learnt to be content. Quick answer, lol (sorry if it doesn't address all EDIT: It was meant to be short! O.O): It is indeed tiring, at times. Takes a kind of stamina that many will never understand. Writing is hard. I believe it engages the entire brain. I hope you do translate your novel, I'd love to read and give feedback. Definitely worth translating. What it was like to focus on just writing--I seem to recall nothing else besides the story. My fingers just flew on the keys, and it was like I was in that world, and thoughts of whether my writing was good or the story was well-structured or whatever simply weren't there. I existed within the novel, with my characters. That was the first time that ever happened for me, and the only time it's been completely immersive and I honestly have feared to go back into something like that. A long-term mode of absolute focus on my work, with hardly anything else... Because yes, I ate and slept.. of sorts. For a time. It got to the point where I felt like eating distracted me from the story. Less and less I ate, until I was so weak that I couldn't do anything but sleep, and the story had to go into a kind of sleep too... ..That's not healthy, and I am on my guard to make sure that it doesn't happen again. I need to have balance now when I write, although that is difficult for me due to my obsessive personality. Last time I just gave in to writing completely, I almost starved to death and was almost not healthy again in time for my life-saving surgery that cured my epilepsy--that surgery I'd prayed so much for, that did indeed happen despite a series of several incidents of illness that tried to stop it, and now I live my life free of fear, able to write and think and function more like a normal person. (that got unexpectedly long, so forget short answer, right? ha) I haven't even checked my email, sorry, but I will. Strange about my tumblr. I know the text I use when I type is tiny... is that what you mean? I don't know how to change it. Just figuring out the basics of tumblr has been difficult for me each time I've tried--it's time-consuming, and I would rather devote my time to writing and other things then take the time to figure it out, lol (although there have been times where I've obsessed over learning certainly technologies, including some basic scripts which I promptly forgot as I discarded the info for things more relevant to my writing life). I'd be open to suggestions about how to improve my tumblr, but I'm not on it much these days. I disagree that communication is easier--I despise having limitations on characters when I type, and trying to find someone's little 'ask' box, and not being able to have a proper, direct convo. And to me it seems lazier than texting--this is just how I feel, I know for some it is different--short things centered around picture memes. In my opinion that is no way to get to know someone. I understand what you say about finding it difficult to be content. There is indeed a secret to learning how to be content in all situations. It may be part of the life-long journey, but there are times when I think I've reached it--despite the recent upset I talked about. (I can also empathize with the pressure part of the job you speculated on. I think it's one of those things where it is bound to exist and you make the choice--overcome and thrive, or find something you can stomach better... but everything in life has challenges that can become really intense. We're meant to be over-comers and make those mountains move. Easier said than done? A lot of the time the key is actually in saying it. There's some irony. ) |
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although I think that it tumblr is easier in a way (we can communicate via fanmail). here's my tumblr, just in case.
Probably not so much fun, not any more lol